Divorce your wound, not your spouse.

How old wounds derive in dead end conversations and how to divorce the cycle, not your spouse. Most of us in long term relationships, dream on (always!) getting what we need from our partner. This is not realistic, yet, one of those infantile longings that just refuses to die. For this reason, couples fight; often. The distinct ways couples fight, however, reveals whether one, the other or both are skillfully responding to a current issue or using adaptations wrapped around unhealed old wounds, inflicted during formative years by parents, parental figures and or other key influential people/factors. An unhealed old wound is like a […]

How self-description can be flawed and potentially dangerous to your marriage

Hello folks, greetings to all! Summer begins in this nook of the world, what a joy! I hope you are living joyfully in your own nook of the world whatever the season, and to increase those chances, I’d like to shine a light on how 2 questions can springboard your partner/spouse) relationship from (irrelevant) self-description to true understanding of how your actions affect each other and your bond. Lately I have become keenly aware of how immensely damaging to relationships it can be, when one partner affirms, despite evidence to the contrary, “being” a certain way: “I am reasonable” or, […]