2 Days Couple’s Intensives and 2 Days Couple’s Workshops are offered locally, nationally and internationally.
Offered in 2 Languages: English and Spanish.
I offer 4 unique, powerful and transformational Couple’s Intensives:
2 DAYS COUPLE’S INTENSIVES:
- 1) “WEDDING SOCKS” 2-Day-Intensive: an exciting and vital premarital program that equips couples with the necessary empowering awareness and skills to form and maintain a rich, transparent, trusting, passionate, safe and strong everlasting relationship.
- 2) “CONNECTION ADVENTURE” 2-Day-Intensive: a powerful program that leads couples to reclaim lost emotional connection and or unwanted distance. Go from power struggle or painful silence to aliveness, intimate connection and new meaning.
- 3) “HEALING COURAGEOUSLY” 2-Day-Intensive: a profound program that serves as an oasis when there is a breach of trust or betrayal. This program helps partners redirect erratic emotions and regain and restore a sense of sanity, which leads partners to uphold what matters most, compassionately and candidly, as the relationship undergoes a transitional phase transforming deep hurt into healing.
- 4) “UNCOUPLING SUCCESSFULLY” 2-Day-Intensive: a supportive and concrete program designed for those partners that have decided to part ways and would like to reach constructive closure, commit to co-parenting maturely and thoughtfully as they learn how to say goodbye to their relationship in a respectful, caring, honorable and compassionate way.
A word from Yamel:
Couple’s 2-Day-Intensives are based on decades of research and practice of Relational Life Therapy, Encountered Centered Couple’s Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy and most excitingly, on groundbreaking neuro-scientifc findings. They were also developed from my extensive and ongoing training in the field, collaboration with respected colleagues and renowned couple’s therapists and the many experiences couples have so courageously shared and continue to share with me in therapy. The intensives and the workshops also have the unique component of personal empathy and compassion born out of my own life’s experiences. When I was 19 years old, my parents divorced and my 2 loving grandparents died suddenly and a month apart. The same year I moved to the USA, studied and lived in the USA for 2 years, at which time I went back home and married my then boyfriend left behind. We came back together and attempted at marriage… the key word here is ATTEMPTED, because we had no tools, no guidance, no means and no maturity, which, of course, led to a dissolution at age 25, but also the gift of my first child and the start of my mission to seeking life-meaning. I wanted a career, REAL love, protection, freedom, security, devotion, joy and mainly, I want it FOREVER.
My now husband came into the picture in the midst of that wave of change and literally swept me off my feet. He too, was looking for meaning, love and belonging but also afraid to entrust his heart fully as nothing had been forever for him either. He longed to be needed but was scared of real intimacy; I wanted real intimacy but not all the time!!! We both longed to be accepted, understood and heard by each other but afraid to risk being hurt, only, were unaware of it, so inadvertently closeness and distance became a way of relating: when it was good, it was awesome and when we got too close, one of us would do something that created distance and so it went. We then embarked on our own life journey. Fast forward 29 years, many stories later, the challenging and awesome task of bringing up 3 children, having our own business and careers and immense love for one another held us together, yet, a few years ago we were struck by a major relationship crisis, which brought my husband and I both to our knees. Talk about learning and growing from conflict! Indeed, we did. The growth that came with that experience (with help, courage, commitment and humbleness) elevated our relationship to a most intimate, real and loving marital adventure, the one we had dreamt about but had not, until then, learned how to experience fully.
We broke the cycle of survival and embraced total connection.
Not all couples have to go through a major crisis to reach this level of connection but many couples, develop survival mechanisms, (the primal brain responses that keeps us out of real or perceived threat) as a means of relating. This is not a way to feel alive and loved; it is more a way to, well, survive, a poor recipe for a joyful life.
HOW DOES A COUPLE TRANSFORM SURVIVAL MODE TO TOTAL CONNECTION?
The human brain has plasticity. What that means is that it is capable, given the right conditions, to adapt to new learnings and develop new neuropathways, which serve to “prune” undesirable behaviors and through practice and key interventions, create new ones, learn how to utilize emotions as navigational tools and also, reconsolidate. This is “core” change, vs. “surface” change by learning to negotiate, compromise and “give in”. The latter are good skills to have in business, but don’t do much good in marriages that want REAL intimacy and an indestructible bond.
The brain, once “opened” through “emotional presence” mutually activates mirror neurons (another brain). The careful and timely process of the therapist leading it, accomplishes this process. The brain has a “window” of 5 hours once activated, and it is then vulnerable and able to allow the amygdala, the part of the brain in charge of detecting threat and activate the fear response, to start taming.
This process is necessary to go from “survival mode” (fighting, yelling, criticizing, defensiveness, distancing, escaping, etc.,) to deep connection, a conscious awareness of our triggers, childhood wounds and deepest longings.
If this process is not accomplished, the change created in therapy may “feel” helpful, but it is not long-lasting. The reason for this is that, when in critical situations, the brain tends to resort to primal defenses, which prevents relational maturity and ultimately sucks away the joy and loving feelings for one another. These lyrics say it best: “It’s hard to kiss the lips at night that chew your ass out all day long”. (The Notorious Cherry Bombs)
Without the knowledge required to understand the reasons we are attracted to one another, why we trigger each other in places we are most sensitive, we lose the ability to connect intimately and we end up in a frustrated state, thinking we “married the wrong person”.
Through a series of tailored steps and key interventions, each person will be able to access the blocks that led to relating on survival-mode and will develop mature relating, a form of being present in each other’s “worlds in a totally different way which leads to true intimate connection.
WHO CAN BENEFIT FROM COUPLE’S THERAPY?
All couples do. Really. However, the ones that can benefit the most are those that:
- Are experiencing a sense of disconnection: some examples are: difficulty conversing by being unable to openly share thoughts and feelings, dreams and hopes/ arguing often/criticizing each other/showing contempt for the other/ using silence and defensiveness / disagreeing on finances or child rearing/ misplacing boundaries and hierarchies such as: letting in laws- TV- Internet – friends – work – social life – activities, pollute the relational space / manifesting poor emotional and or physical boundaries/ lacking sexual closeness or desire.
- Have a loving bond but would like to deepen the connection and safeguard the relationship.
- Experienced a breach of trust: some examples are: infidelity, hiding money, secrecy, gossiping about your partner, flirting, addictions, being unsupportive of each other’s emotional, intellectual and or career growth.
- Are thinking of moving in together or getting married.
- Find themselves thinking that “happiness” must be somewhere outside of the marriage.
- Are considering or have decided to separate.
- There is an addiction or addictive behavior.
- *There has been aggression (I need to screen couples where there is physical violence as couple’s therapy is, at times, not the best course in these cases).
Couple’s therapy is not for the faint of heart. It requires commitment and an honest desire to explore and go through the process of how to elevate the relationship. It is extremely rewarding for those that truly expect and desire to live a meaningful and intimate life together through all of life’s unexpected turns.
The most difficult step to take is the first one. The reward of mutually uncovering each other’s longings and defenses and vulnerably, compassionately and courageously learn HOW to connect deeply an intimately (because of them, not in spite of them), is to experience a life-long adventure in relationship; you know, the one that you dreamt about when you said your “I do’s”.
COST OF COUPLE’S INTENSIVES IS:
$3,900 /2 consecutive days of 7 to 7.5 hours each
$1,950 /1 day Intensive
Forms of payment accepted: Cash, Check or Credit Card (There is a 3% surcharge when paying by Credit Card).
The 2 days are consecutive and go from 9 am to 4:30 pm each day (flexible to couples’ preferences). There are 2 10-minute breaks in the morning and in the afternoon with a 1.15 hr. for lunch.
It is recommended that couples stay at a local hotel when doing the 2-day Intensive.
To book a 1 or 2 Day Intensive or for a free 10 minute phone consultation, please contact me at 203 667-1812 or via e-mail:
2 DAYS COUPLE’S WORKSHOPS:
2 Days Couple’s Workshops are offered locally, nationally and internationally.
Offered in 2 Languages: English and Spanish.
For more information on upcoming workshops, please contact Yamel at
203 667 1812 or via email at firstname.lastname@example.org