Nasty-Arguing vs. Worthy-Arguing: What’s your style?

Most if not all people I have counseled, don’t complain because they argue with their partner, they lament instead, they can’t argue well. I have yet to meet that person in my practice or personal life whom has ever proclaimed: “I like to end my arguments in full blown fights, the nastier the better, in fact, I enjoy the silence treatment I get or give after one of those. It is a pleasure to lose control over my emotions and say or do really hurtful things especially to those I love the most. My ultimate goal is to get childish […]

Nasty-Arguing vs. Worthy-Arguing: What’s your style?

Most if not all people I have counseled, don’t complain because they argue with their partner, they lament instead, they can’t argue well. I have yet to meet that person in my practice or personal life whom has ever proclaimed: “I like to end my arguments in full blown fights, the nastier the better, in fact, I enjoy the silence treatment I get or give after one of those. It is a pleasure to lose control over my emotions and say or do really hurtful things especially to those I love the most. My ultimate goal is to get childish […]

4 must-have approaches for heart-to-heart conversations.

Conversations are the most direct, effective and evolved form of communication among humans, yet, just talking to each other is not enough for heart- to heart parleys. Heart- to-heart conversations require skill and when dialogues are laden with what renowned couples’ expert, Dr. Gottman, refers to as the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse (Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and/or Stonewalling) relationships either don’t survive or if they do, they exist in misery. If you are saying to yourself right now, “…it’s my partner’s fault our conversations either don’t happen or they have bad endings” you may be absolutely right!, hence, to have […]